WIT AND HUMOR – A FUNNY SITE BY BOB WAYNE

Another sick and disgusting email discussion between my friends. So lets have a little looksee at what transpired…

Here is the initial email from Dr. B:

Saturday is Greenhouse Open House and Field Day at the Farm (my farm, hah ha!).  Anyone want to ride down to the farm with me…and maybe accidentally stop at Alexis Baily for a tasting???

Oh sure…it sounds innocent enough. “Greenhouse Open House and Field Day at the Farm”…which is obviously some veiled euphemism for what kind of sedicious activities?

And then Piggy gave his response which shouldn’t surprise anyone:

That will be the experience of a lifetime. I’m out for Friday and in for Thursday. And count me in for the farm. I have a “special” relationship with vegetables…

A “special” relationship with vegetables. That remark was not lost on our friends…

Fab Dawn, the Glam Queen, had this to say:

“Special” relationship with vegetables…bwahahah. I’d like to see the opera too, can I come? How much does it cost, where is it and where can I get a ticket?

Is she referring to some kind of Vege Opera? Or is this just the opening salvo in some demented plan to undermine the “feed” Stock Exchange? It gets worse…

Take for instance Dr. B’s response:

OMG…Where is the opera?  Can we still get tickets????  Sunday can be my AAW day….and I am not even going to comment on the vegetable ‘relationship’ thing!

Obviously she’s hiding something. As we all know, AAW stands for…uh…All Around the World. Which, again, everyone knows is…um…a hideous sex game involving the abuse of innocent vegetables.

But Dr. B doesn’t stop there. The inuendo simply keeps on coming…

…actually, bwahahaha is a good comeback!  And you are not socially awkward…be like me…I am but don’t know it!  But maybe art on Sunday? 

So the question begs itself, who is this “art” and what are they planning to do with him (or to him) on Sunday? Does this involve the veges? Shackles? Great Danes?

Fab Dawn, the Glam Queen, responded with this blunt message:

Yes Sunday is fabulous, I look forward to it.  Piggy, I’m still laughing about you and the veggies. Your next blog entry should be, “Vegetables I’ll Never Forget.”

This is just frightening. I can’t even comment on this. I want my mommy…

And Dr. B said:

bwahahahaha…but they’d like to forget him!

These women are demented and should be flogged with limp noodles.

And Fab Dawn, the Glam Queen responds with:

Yes, I can just picture the poor little things flinging themselves off the shelves and crashing to their deaths on the floor when Piggy walks by the produce section at the grocery store. Better a tragic death than be in the hands of Piggy.

And then the Divine Deb L pipes in with her questionnable morals as she says:

I’m in for Thursday and need to sort out the rest of the weekend :-). I know how to have fun.

Will the Veges never be free? Will it be nothing but days of insanity? What more could they suggest? Trust the Diva Drew to suggest the following…

Yeah, I can just see the Veggie Blog headlines now:

• Cucumbers I have grown to love
• Getting Personal with Parsnips
• You can Ring my Bell-Pepper