WIT AND HUMOR – A FUNNY SITE BY BOB WAYNE

“They’re everywhere! They’re everywhere!”

Yes, it’s time for Piggy’s Fucking Idiots of the World Awards. Candidates have been popping up thick and fast and with so many candidates to choose from, we’ve had to narrow the award winners to one per continent.

The Fucking Idiot of the World Award for South America goes to that self-serving paragon of the poor and ignorant, Hugo Chavez.

“Let’s see. I’m going to tell the rice producers, who are in an extremely low profit business, that they have to sell their rice for less than it costs to produce it so they can’t afford to pay the few people in my country who have those silly things called jobs.

And then when they refuse to go bankrupt and fire all their employees, I’ll send in the military to take over their businesses. I’m a fucking genius! Robert Reich would be so proud of me! By the time I get through with the economy, there’ll be just me, and the poor and ignorant who vote for me! Wow, am I good. I wonder how my old buddy Robert Mugabe is doing?”

The Fucking Idiot of the World Award for Africa goes to that paragon of the poor and oppressed, you guessed it, Robert Mugabe.

This was really a tough one. Piggy so badly wanted to give it to the entire country of Somalia. Between the pirates attacking International shipping, the Muslim hardliners who want Sharia Law imposed on the people so women can be abused, tortured, murdered, kept ignorant and powerless by ignorant and stupid men, and the so-called government of Somalia that rules maybe a suburb of Mogadishu giving in to the hardliners, Somalia as a “country” seemed a shoe-in.

Then Robert Mugabe threw a lavish party to celebrate…what? That he’s turned a once thriving and peaceful country into a hotbed of pestilence, poverty and ignorance? That he’s managed to drive out of the country the few people who knew how to create businesses and farms that employ and feed people? That he took a proud people who once fed themselves and much of Africa and turned it into a beggar nation?

Yep, I guess so.

The last Fucking Idiot of the World Award goes to none other than that paragon of moronic, conservative “if I yell loud enough, maybe they won’t realize I’m an idiot” thought, Rush Limbaugh.

It’s funny how the people labeled conservatives these days rant and rage about how we should all be patriots and defend the president no matter what kind of indefensible war he gets our kids killed in.

That is until we elect a president who is thoughtful, intelligent, highly educated and speaks in complete sentences. Then it’s, “I hope the president fails!”

Pretty much the same “gang of morons” who think the government should allow every man the right to carry a concealed weapon so they can shoot it out in the suburbs but the government must take away the right of a woman to control her own body. Maybe we could bring Sharia Law to the United States. It pretty much agrees with what passes today as conservative “thought.”

Piggy’s tired. It’s exhausting work passing judgement on the entire planet. Of course, Piggy does offer a solution. He recommends a handful of of sharpshooters to take care 0f the fucking idiots and a regimen of carpet bombing for the entire country of Somalia. Then pave the whole thing and turn it into a used car lot.