BOB WAYNE’S WEBLOG

A few years back, I thought I was going to come into a great deal of money (I didn’t). Well, as any sensible middle-aged guy would do, I went out looking at sports cars. The Diva and I went straight to the Lotus/Jaguar dealership.
I believe I can state with authority that Lotus sports cars were designed implicitly to [...]

Last night, the Diva Drew and I met Dr. Brenda Kayzar of the University of Minnesota at the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis to hear Teddy Cruz speak. Teddy is a Guatemala-born architect who is busy working at ground zero at the deadly border between the slumbering city of San Diego and the war-mongering hordes in [...]

My friend Dawn was over one Friday night lot too long ago for Sci-fi Night. The Diva Drew made a spectacular dinner, as always, and Dawn brought caramel corn (or carmal corn, as we Midwesterners pronounce it). During dinner, the conversation turned to cats.
“I miss my cat,” Dawn remarked.
“So do I,” the Diva returned.
“You miss my [...]

Claustrophobic feet are caused by Fuzzy Slipper Syndrome, a typically Minnesotan disease caused by “freeze-your-ass-off” temperatures. The tendency here is to spend the entire winter with your feet encased in fuzzy slippers to ward off the arctic blasts that shred their way across Canada and crash into Minnesota after warming up to a balmy 30-below zero.
The only [...]

Yes, we’ve decided that a mascot is in order for Bob Wayne’s Blog. For you ambitious types, his picture (complete with disclaimer) is located at the bottom of the middle column. For couch-potato types who still want to see him, here you go.

Oops! I forgot to mention. Piggy has a drinking problem. But have no fear. [...]

I was talking to my friend Susan this afternoon. She told me she was going to the liquor store tonight to get herself “a box of drunken tramp”. Then between giggles she told me, “I’ll be the prettiest gal in the trailer park!”
I have weird friends, thank the gods.
Take for instance my friend Dawn. We met in [...]

Yes, the caucuses have arrived in Minnesota. Now, don’t misconstrue my headline. I love democracy. I believe in it [unless, of course, I could be dictator -   then you'd all be screwed]. And I don’t know about the Republicans but the Democrats believe there may be 75,000 to 100,000 people participating in their caucuses. [...]

I learned a new phrase today. Ready kids? It’s “Youth-impaired.”
Excuse my French but, “What the fuck?”
Youth-impaired? If 50 is the new 30, I’m going to go find the bastard that came up with that line and bitch-slap him ’til his teeth rattle. If it’s a woman, I’ll give her a “super-sized” piece of my mind. What’s left [...]

You know, it takes brass balls to put up with Minnesota winters. It’s like the relationship from hell. Every time you walk out the door you get slapped.
I had a nurse tell me a few years back that Minnesota drunks and drug addicts are much more responsible here than almost anywhere else. When I asked her why, she [...]

I found a note on my desk this morning. It said, “Next blog post - Bottom of the Barrel Baby Boomer”. Cool. Problem is, I have no idea what the brilliant thought was behind this post idea.
ADD sucks. It’s definitely not a great way to operate your life. However, it does have it’s benefits. And as soon [...]

I went to grab my shaving cream this morning out of the bottom cabinet in the bathroom. A bolt of pain shot through my back that just about sent me flying over the toilet. I won’t deny that getting older has it’s benefits. However, aches, pains, creaks, groans, and general decrepitness ain’t part of the benefits package.
But [...]

I can’t even begin to explain how many levels of “I just want to slap this geek” are coursing through my follicle support system. Here I am, trying to find WordPress plugins to help me make more money so I can retire in complete sloth and I find the word “upgradation” in the installation instructions for [...]

Thought I’d introduce you to my humble workspace. I’ll tell you what…it doesn’t get any better than this. At least, not at my income level.
 
You know how they say that an empty desk is the sign of an empty mind and a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind? This is what ADD [...]

Yeah, I’m lazy. I’ll admit it. I’d rather sit here and write my blog and scratch my butt and have people send me money than do anything of value to earn it. Does that make me evil?
I mean, my wife is a classical singer and people are always telling her it must be nice to [...]