BOB WAYNE’S WEBLOG

Everyone has strange friends. At least I hope so. It keeps life from turning drab and grey.
Take, for instance, my friend, Dawn the Glamour Queen. We were chatting on the phone the other day. I mentioned that I did a four hour search engine optimization training with a woman who’s husband is a dermatologist.
The woman [...]

In a move that shocked and dismayed his ardent followers, Piggy voted this morning for Hugo Chavez for president of the United States.
When followers demanded an explanation, Piggy replied, “Hugo Chavez looks like a pig, he acts like a pig, he probably smells like a pig. Who else would I vote for?”

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Hugo Chavez running for US president? At this late hour? Yes, it’s true.
Piggy has rooted out this amazing political story on the eve of one of the most historic presidential elections in history.
Hugo Chavez has thrown his hat in the ring at the last minute. When asked why (ignoring the fact that he’s not [...]

Anthrax was discovered in Minneapolis, today, on a park bench near Lake Harriet. In a brave attempt to protect the community, Piggy snorted the entire dime ba…er…um..well, maybe it wasn’t Anthrax.
But it was definitely a plastic baggy of white powder and Piggy snorted the whole thing without a moment’s hesitation. Is he a hero? [...]

Yes, our favorite political prognosticator, Piggy, has done it again. With the aid of groups like Acorn who hire the mentally deficient and the morally bankrupt, Piggy has found a solution to John McCain’s apparently losing candidacy.
When the Mob delivered the State of Illinois to John Kennedy in 1960, it was on the promise [...]

Yes, nothing says debauchery like one of Piggy’s wild parties. The liquor cabinet was thrown open and a quiet dinner party became another drunken Piggy rampage.
The evidence lies before you…

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Billy Mays is the most annoying person on TV. If anyone in the developed world disagrees with me it’s because they are deaf. Or dead.
I’ve always had a fondness for the mute button on my remote control. I consider it the greatest invention of the Twentieth Century, right after microwave popcorn.
And Billy Mays has [...]

Bush and Cheney have done it again
They inflated the budget then stuck in a pin
But lo and behold
The pin went amiss
The economy collapsed and Wall Street’s a mess!
But Bush claimed, “No fear! I’ve an ace up my sleeve!”
He whipped out Hank Paulson
To bend Wall Street’s ear.
But the Wall didn’t listen
They wanted the cash
So Paulson pulled [...]

Okay, I’ll admit it. I was a little concerned when the Diva Drew showed me the handbills the French were passing out at their concert in Paris. I mean, c’mon! Chants Slaves?
What would be going through your perverted little mind if your significant other brought something like this home? And don’t say, “Why nothing [...]

Piggy may be a ham but when it’s time to work, he’s right there in the thick of it. Being a mascot isn’t easy. Especially for Piggy.

The role of mascot requires discipline, hard work and a serious commitment. Not Piggy’s strong suits (as if the lazy bastard has any strong suits).

However, what he lacks in almost everything that might be called a quality, he makes up for with his plush lovable exterior and affable willingness to hog the show… (click title to Read More!)

…or at least he got back without being eaten. The French do love their pork.
So, where did Piggy go and what did he do?
Let me make clear that Piggy came back with a lot of pictures so I’m gonna to milk this sucker for all the blog entries I can get. Besides, a little Piggy [...]

You know, when people whine to me about how boring their lives are, I just really can’t relate. With friends like mine,I don’t even understand the concept of “normal”.
Dawn and I were chatting yesterday about this and that, pretty “normal” conversation. Then I said something I thought was pretty reasonable and she said, “Oh, [...]

Piggy is on the plane and headed to Paris. In fact, if my calculations are correct, he and the Diva Drew and the Rose Ensemble have already stepped off the plane in sunny Paris.
They were lucky enough to get one of the last direct to Paris flights from “No Way” Airlines.
This was a great [...]

Yes, our intrepid Piggy has finally found a way to travel to Europe. He is, of course, rising “piggy-back” in Lisa Drew’s backpack.
He’s brought along everything he needs. A bag of truffles, a bag of breath mints and an airsick bag. Yes, our Piggy is prepared.
He’s also figured out how to hide from the [...]

Sheesh! I can’t leave that pig alone for a second. I went to the store to get more gin and limes and I come back and find him watching piggy porn on my computer! And drinking my good beer, too!
I’m probably on some pig porn perverts FBI list now along with Dick Cheney.
And God [...]

Yes, despite the cavalier way Piggy’s relatives have all found their way into my free…er…uh…into someone’s freezer, you just can’t keep a good Piggy down.
So once again, in a fit of joie de vivre, our hip cat Piggy is dancing his little heart out to the passionate strains of Jim Carrey’s version of Cuban Pete [...]

Piggy is tired of finding his family in the freezer so he’s hired a marketing firm to create a campaign to stop people from eating pork.
Here are a few of the tag lines they’ve come up with:
“CHICKEN - IT’S THE ONLY WHITE MEAT”
“DON’T EAT PIGS BECAUSE PIGS EAT POOP”
“DO YOU REALLY WANT TO EAT [...]

Piggy found a new place to get away from the summer heat. Of course, little does Piggy know he’s in for a big surprise…stay tuned… 

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Yes, Piggy is very upset about the Chinese Olympics. He’s been glued to the TV waiting to see who’s competing in Mud Rolling. We didn’t have the heart to tell him there is no Mud Rolling category.
What can I say? It’s a popular sport with piggies. In fact, it’s the only sport amongst piggies. [...]

I took my friend Dawn to an oral surgeon yesterday and then gave her a ride home afterwards. Since she got gassed, she missed all the festivities in her mouth.
I learned a few things though from seeing her in the recovery room after the surgery. I really hate seeing my friends so frail, fragile [...]