WIT AND HUMOR – A FUNNY SITE BY BOB WAYNE

The Diva Drew is sick as a dog. When you’ve got a set of pipes like a classical singer has, and they get clogged up, the whole world knows it. At least the whole subconscious world inside my head knows it.

It’s the only reason I can think of for my weird dreams last night.

Okay, so the first one takes place in this strange college dorm that looks suspiciously like a Mad Max version of the Georges Pompidou Center in Paris but turned inside out. And the only way to get around is by walking (or if you’re a wimp, crawling) along the pipes. And my best friend from high school is just standing there looking around. For the entire year. Just standing there and not saying a thing. And I don’t say anything to him because I’m freaked out that he’s there and not moving around or saying anything.

Then the snoring breaks through my consciousness and I wake up. So I wrap my pillow around my head because I’m too warm and cozy to crawl out to the couch, and try to go back to sleep. Then I find the Diva Drew and I outside of a WalMart beside a canal. And Paul McCartney in jeans and a nice sweater walks by chatting with an attractive woman. (Even in a weird dream the guy’s hanging with a hottie).

So the Diva Drew sees him and follows them into WalMart, presumably to get his autograph (Diva’s are even more star struck than us ordinary folks), and I’m left to my own devices.

For some reason, I walk in through the loading dock door and I’m in the employee lounge. It’s absolutely disgusting. Filthy, wore out sofas and chairs covered with ratty chenille blankets, piles of crap all over the floor. The walls are cement block that might have been painted once but are covered with grime.

And the people are doing things I can’t talk about in a PG rated blog. Luckily, this one has no rating. There was one woman in a short skirt straddling the sink with it filled with soapy water washing herself. And then I walk through a doorway around a corner and there’s a security guard sitting and eating a sandwich and watching a little black and white 13″ TV.

Thankfully, I woke up again and turned over, re-wrapped my head with the pillow and went back to sleep.

In the third dream, I had started a company called Mondo Chewy coffee. And I was being sued in court because I’d ripped off the movie The Fifth Element by copying the name of the Mondochewin aliens. And my arguement was that I’d only ripped off half the name because the Chewy part was a rip off of Chewbaca’s name in Star Wars. Hey, I was marketing to Sci Fi fans.

Thankfully, I woke up again before the bastards made me give all the money back.Pink Floyd – Brain Damage & Eclipse-short